I'm Your Guide Nico di Angelo
by RavingNarniacAnarane
Summary: I didn't mean to get in trouble! This only means one thing to Nico di Angelo, punishment. What will it be this time-and where will it lead?
1. What the Argument Caused

_PLEASE READ THESE! THEY ARE NOT THAT LONG ANYWAYS!_

_Hey guys! Percy Jackson and The Olympians is NOT mine. Rick Riordan (rules them all hehe) owns them all. I got this idea from the Ultimate Guide from PJO. The Underworld section… Enjoy__ Warning; I'm trying to keep it __**short**__. _

**I'm Your Guide, Nico di Angelo**

**Chapter One: What The Argument Caused**

I didn't mean to. Then again, this was my step-mother, Persephone.

Maybe I should back up.

I'm a demi-god. My name is Nico di Angelo, and I'm a son of Hades. Yep, the Lord of the dead. That means Persephone is my step mother, and we don't actually get along well. See, she doesn't like the idea of my mother, and well, basically the idea that I exist.

So, that is how this whole thing got started. A little while ago, I got into a nasty fight with her. My dad said if I caused another one, or anything mildly heated, I would be punished his way. Trust me, that don't mean grounding.

I walked through the black obsidian halls, dreading what my dad was going to say when I got to the breakfast table. I considered not going, I'm not a huge fan of cereal, but my dad would know what I was doing. That would just make more of a mess for me later.  
I tried to keep my spirits high, thinking about things I enjoyed. Talking to my sister Bianca, visiting Percy, and telling a ghost 'that's the spirit!' for example. Unfortunately, my list was to short, so it didn't help me.  
As I neared the door, I gulped; my dad wasn't exactly one of those you got a 'Happy Father's Day!' card to. Opening the door, I smiled anyways, which immediately disappeared when I saw Persephone. She looked like she was enjoying herself. That meant my dad already knew what he was going to do with me, and she was ok with it.

I sat stiffly down at the table, and out of nowhere, a bowl of cereal appeared in front of me. I sighed, _Demeter._ Grabbing a spoon, I opted not starving this morning. Bored, I began playing the game I always played in the mornings, guessing the conversation.  
_Cue Demeter's complaining._ I thought smiling, I was right.  
"Why do you stick with this man?" Demeter asked annoyed. Persephone gave her a look.  
_Now, Dad will step in, interrupting Persephone._ I had this down.  
"Moth…" Persephone began.  
"Demeter, how many times are we going to have this conversation?" My dad interrupted.  
_Demeter is going to bring me up now. _  
"I mean, he's not a good husband! Look what came of this," She nodded in my direction. Just my luck, I stuffed a mouthful of cereal in at that moment. Which I got some looks for.  
_Alright, Persephone is going to bring up yesterday._ I thought nervously. _Their so predictable._  
"Speaking of him, Hades, yesterday…" Persephone announced. For the first time this morning, my dad looked straight at me. He sighed, as I put my spoon down and looked at him.  
"Nico, why do you do this?" He asked. I was taken aback by the question, I thought he would just give me the punishment and be done. So much for predictable.  
"Um… I lost my temper?" I suggested, knowing that 'I don't know' or 'she started it' would get me nowhere. I tried them already.  
My dad heaved a sigh, and motioned for Demeter and Persephone to leave the room. Both huffed at him, and left. Boy, I was in trouble now.

"You do it on purpose." My dad said when they left.  
"No, I don't, my lord," I said.  
"Don't call me that right now, Nico," My father snapped. "I told you last time, I can't have you going around having arguments with everyone. Like my first Lieutenant and Persephone." My dad gave me a look.  
"He called me a daddy's boy!" I snapped, and then turned red. I had been avoiding the talk were I told him why we argued. He raised an eyebrow at me.  
"We'll talk about that later, but I'm talking about yesterday." My dad was focused today.  
"Um… sorry?" I tried.  
"I told you last time, if this happened again, I would do something about it. So, Persephone and I have come to a conclusion," He went on. I gulped, if Persephone was involved, I would not like this.  
"We've had a lot of people have been asking to visit the Underworld, and be aloud out without dying. Basically tours of the underworld, so as your punishment, you will be the tour guide." I almost burst out laughing, when I saw his face. It was _dead_ serious.  
"Tour guide?" I asked making sure I heard right. He nodded.  
"You will make some gold for the underworld, and learn your place." He added.  
"As a tour guide?" I asked, still trying to understand right. My dad was getting annoyed at me.  
"Yes, Nico! Tomorrow you shall follow my Lieutenant as he gives you some tips. No arguments, even if he calls you…er…daddy's boy," He said the last part awkwardly, then motioned me to leave.

I walked to my room, an official tour guide of the underworld.

_Yeah, great._ I thought sarcastically.

_Well my friends, it is done. Usually my chapters are like six to nine pages long. But I'm trying to keep this one short. I'm working on Chapter two right now, so in the mean time…_

_REVIEW! It makes my day!_


	2. Learning To Be A Guide

**Chapter Two: Learning to be a Guide**

I woke up more depressed then I usually am. Today was the beginning of my punishment.  
_Learning to be a tour guide._ I sighed, this was not going to be fun. Grabbing my notepad, I threw on my aviator jacket. Looking at the time, I sighed. Two minutes, till I had to travel around the Underworld with my dad's Lieutenant. Getting up, I headed towards the entrance of my dad's castle to meet Alecto.

Alecto dropped me at the Walls of Erebos. Getting up, I shot a look at Alecto. Preferring not to get in trouble again, I looked away with no words. My dad's Lieutenant was already there, some dead roman Calvary guy.  
He motioned for me to follow him, and started heading off towards Judgment Pavilion. Gritting my teeth, I trudged off after him.  
He led me all the way through the Underworld. Instructing me all about what I should say and what I should do. Quite honestly, it was very annoying.  
He took me to the fields of punishment next, again giving me annoying advice. I had already filled one page in my notebook, and was already having troubles with my dyslexia. It looked like the Lieutenant, wasn't going to lighten up.  
Groaning, he led me up towards the path near the Elysium. This was a little easier to focus on, but I still didn't like writing notes. He also pointed out the Isles of the Blest, making sure I had plenty of notes on that too.  
Next, he led me towards dad's palace. By now, I had filled two and a half pages. Suddenly, the lieutenant stopped, causing me to run into him. He pointed down another path that leads to Tartarus. He started barking orders at me, pointing towards my notebook. I gave him a look and started writing down his warnings and stories I should say.  
Finally, we started up the path towards the palace. Taking me to Persephone's garden, he started pointing out, in my opinion, useless facts.  
We walked into the entrance hall and the lieutenant turned around. He started chattering about no one goes farther than this hall, and it was my job to lead them out. As he chattered on, I looked sharply at him.  
"What do you mean the Underworld has a gift shop?" I asked looking confused. He chattered in his skeleton language some more.  
"It takes five drachmas to get an exit ferry from Charon?" I got a very close to annoyed look from the skeleton. "Right, knew that," I mumbled.

"How did it go?" My father asked when we returned. I held up five pages of notes, eighteen note cards and a map of the Underworld.  
"My hand hurts." I complained. He gave me a look and turned towards the lieutenant, who nodded.  
"Good, then, Nico you may go to your room. You can't leave the Underworld right now." He told me. I raised an eyebrow at him, and then turned towards the exit.  
Walking through the halls, I started looking more depressed at the notes I had.

_Introduce yourself, Nico! Welcome them (Even though it's depressing! Wait, don't say that). _

_Tell them about Cerberus, you know, good guard dog ect. (Mental note, don't let them pet him!)_

_Lead them up the path towards the Judgment Pavilion. (Don't let them freak out about the dead)_

I was so distracted I ran into a guard, who chattered at me to watch where I was going.  
Mumbling 'sorry' I walked into my room. Flopping down on my bed, I gave an annoyed sigh. I went to pick up my notes again. Then stopped, I really wasn't in the mood.  
Instead I sat there thinking about what my living friends were doing. Percy, no doubt, will be in school this time of year, and in his spare time spending time with Annabeth or in his apartment.  
Annabeth was probably studying Daedalus's laptop.  
While I had no idea what Rachel would be doing. Probably something better than sitting here in the Underworld.  
Thalia was probably off on adventures with the Hunters of Artemis.  
I sighed, no wonder my dad said I couldn't leave the Underworld, because I was tempted to go join in with anyone.  
Deciding to skip dinner, I went to bed early, trying to see if tomorrow will turn out better.

I woke up in no better mood then yesterday. Sitting up, I decided I should probably eat breakfast.  
I walked through the halls towards the kitchen. Not in the mood to sit at the table with Demeter and Persephone.  
Grabbing a gornola bar, I headed out towards the walls. Today I had to run through the tour by myself, and practice my notes.

So I did for the whole entire week. I went around and around the Underworld, muttering useless facts under my breath. Let's say once you see the Underworld once, you won't be missing a thing for the next ten years.

But the next morning, I got some news I wasn't ready for.

_Done! I decided I would leave off here because it was the best cliff hanger I had. I'm going to take a short break, but I will have Chapter Three up soon!  
So, while you're waiting…_

_Review__ (I know this gets annoying huh?)_


	3. I Met All The Gods Off Olympus

_ANNNNDDDD NNNOOOWWWW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:_

**Chapter Three: I Meet All the Gods Off Olympus**

"THE GODS ARE COMING? YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?" I shouted panicking.  
"Take them on the tour, surely you can do that?" I was shifting on my feet back and forth.  
"Uhhh…ok?"  
"Tomorrow, ten o'clock sharp." And with that my dad sent me to my room.

I pulled out a golden drachma.  
"Show me Percy Jackson, upper east-side Manhattan. _May he save my life._" I muttered the last part.  
Slowly the mist formed Percy, looking quite honestly like a couch-potato. Munching on chips, watching T.V. and still in his blue p.j.s.  
"Wow, hero of Olympus to be, huh?" He jumped six feet into the air.  
"Nico!"  
"Hello."  
"What's wrong?"  
"Bad news," I told Percy what happened.

"Wow, tour guide. Now you have to give them a tour? Wonder if all the Olympians will be there," Percy wondered aloud causing my stomach to lurch.  
"Not helping with the confidence Perc."  
"I could try to ask my dad to be nice to you?" He tried.  
"Nah, but feel welcome to kidnap me for…" I look on my wall, I keep a count of my punishments on the wall, I know I sound like I'm in jail huh? "5 days, seven hours and 21 seconds, that would be ok with me."  
"Nico? Do you really keep count on your wall?" Percy asked looking concerned.  
"What else what you like me to do when I'm stuck in the land with the most depressing inhabitants?" I asked skeptically.  
"Ten drachmas, huh?" Percy asked distracted.  
"Yeah, I have a whole bunch of notes."  
"Hey, Nico, I'll talk to you later. I need to talk to Annabeth," He suddenly said smiling.  
"Percy, wait…"  
Too late, that lovesick boy was gone. Cursing in ancient Greek, I plopped down on my bed. Sighing I pulled out my notes again and started to look at the last part. I pulled out my black IPod and started playing, what I thought was an appropriate song: Mission Impossible.

"_Drag them away towards dad's palace; DON'T LET THEM BECOME LUNCH FOR THE FURIES!"_

"_Tell them about Tartarus on the way, you know- the boring stories about you know…"_

I yawned, this was so _boring_, and why did I have to do this? Of all punishments, a tour guide.

I woke up the next morning at four o'clock in the morning. I got up and paced my room, still trying to wake up. I looked at my doorway and groaned, there was a shiny pamphlet laying there. Last time I got one was because the skeletons were playing a trick on me. Let's just say, I came rushing into the kitchen asking why my dad decided to make a battle of the bands with skeletons. That didn't turn out so well, because my dad couldn't figure out why the skeletons did it.

**NICO DI ANGELO'S TOURS OF THE UNDERWORLD! COME SEE IT TODAY!**

I made a disgusted sound.  
"They're to full of themselves," I muttered, throwing it onto the floor. I went back to bed.

Seven o'clock is when I officially got up, and it really wasn't my day. I slipped on that darn pamphlet as I got up and landed with a thud on the floor.  
"C'mon really?" I groaned as I landed in the hallway. The skeletons passing by chattered at me.  
"Oh shut up, you didn't have bad days when you were alive?" I snapped. The chattered a pretty rude reply that made my day.  
"Thanks, I enjoy being called a clumsy teen, now move along!" I told them as I headed down the stairs.  
My morning didn't get any better when I got to breakfast. Turns out that I was the only one who came down for it so, I skipped and had a granola bar and went into the garden. I had two hours before the gods arrived and I was a mess. I went to my part of the garden, it was my rebel area. I grew hundreds of dandelions here, much to Persephone's disgust. I sat here a while, again looking at those notes, which I probably could do in my sleep now. Fifteen minutes till I had to present, I got up and headed towards the wall of Erebos. I was a bundle of nerves as I went.

The arrival of the gods, I must admit was memorable.  
They were (thankfully) in human form, in Charon's boat. What made me smile inside was Apollo, Hermes, Ares, Poseidon and Aphrodite were all rocking out to Highway to Hell by ACDC. Everyone else was just nodding or looking around. I gulped and hid behind the wall a little more. Since when was I shy?  
When the gods landed I forced my feet to move. I stood on the black beach of the River Styx, all by myself next to gods.  
"Uh…hi," I said real intelligently. They all looked at me, there was a moment of silence, then Hermes spoke up.  
"Hey, it's Hades kid," He clapped me on the shoulder. They all smiled at me, (Except a few like Zeus),  
"Nico, right? Hades was always original when it came to names," Ares laughed. I forced a smile.  
"Yeah, so… uh…"  
"You were going to show us around correct?" Athena prompted.  
I gulped, Yay.

_Yay! Half way through!  
What's up with Percy?  
Will Nico survive?  
You must keep reading to know!  
So to keep suspense- Review before you go on!_


	4. I Inform Gods Of Updated Torturing

_Well, we are almost done now! Who's ready to tour the Underworld? I am, that's why I'm writing this-duh. So let's all go help Nico._

_Nico-Why did you do this to me? Me-Because Rick did it first, I just elaborated._

**Chapter Four: I Inform Gods Of Updated Torturing Techniques**

As you can tell from the title, this was one of the most interesting things I have ever done. But you don't know that yet, so forget I just talked.

"Yeah, Uh follow me through the EZ death line please. That's Cerberus, I'm guessing you know him…"  
"Some of us are not as informed as you think, kid" Dionysius called. Someone else told him to shut it, which I was guessing was Athena. I tried to sound more confident,  
"…Well, that path over there leads you to the Judgment Pavilion. That's where the newly dead go. The lines have been over-flowed for years so don't bother the lines." Aphrodite gasped, like she just realized they were standing there. Apparently, beauty isn't everything huh? Hephaestus snorted and looked at the architecture, which Athena was admiring.  
"I heard Hades made Daedalus the architect of the Underworld, is that true boy?" She asked her grey eyes focused on me. I nodded. She looked proud. "Good."  
For some reason this gave me confidence, I cleared my throat and started to recite my notes in perfect lines.  
"Over there is the Fields of Asphodel those are the people who did ok in life, so they didn't get judged. Don't miss the stunning stalactites, they will spear you, so be careful," I pointed them as I walked. They nodded and Ares grinned.  
"Wicked, I always liked Hades for those." He commented.  
"Alright, for those who are judged, there are two paths. This path on the right leads to the Fields of Punishment. This is where Hades try's out new punishments…" I was cut off by Zeus.  
"New?" He asked me questionably.  
"Uh, like listening to Opera music for eternity, um…being run over cars. Yeah…" This was awkward, telling the gods how to punish in new ways. Now, thanks to me, there might be more car accidents. Oops.  
"Are these techniques effective?" Hermes asked.  
"Are you planning on using them Hermes?" Poseidon threatened.  
"Not like you don't do it Poseidon!" Ares interrupted. For a second, I thought I saw weapons forming, but Zeus interfered.  
"Enough!"  
They all looked back at me, so much for being confident.  
"Uh…there are also your traditional punishments too, lava flows, burning at the stake, yeah. Uh moving on." I decided, leading them to the Isles of the Blest, and the Elysium.

After all those talks and near disasters, I lead them towards my dad's palace.  
"Ah, finally, where that old bastard lives!" Poseidon laughed.  
"Uh, well this is his palace. It's made out of polished obsidian, see the gates there? They have pictures of all types of death on them."  
All the gods finally explored everything, well they were hoping to see my father, but he made show. Which I'm guessing was a smart move, knowing him.

We finally got to the Gift shop I sat down and started to breath normally again. Charon was in charge of them now, when I heard a familiar voice next to him.  
"Wow, I'm impressed with this gift shop. I'm never getting rid of this shirt,"  
"Percy!" I gasped looking up at the familiar sea-green eyed boy. "You…You came?" A blonde head popped out from behind him, and a curly horned one.  
"Of course we did Nico!" Annabeth grinned.  
"Blah ha ha! The Underworld is the same as I remember it!" Grover exclaimed, I noticed he was chewing a stalactite.  
"You know my dad wouldn't like it if he found out you satyr's like those to eat, right?" I asked him. He looked panicked. "Don't worry, I'll tell him it was a fury, I need something on them anyways." He smiled.  
"Hey, when you're allowed out of here, call us up," Annabeth invited.  
"You guys want to hang out with me?" I asked them.  
Percy rolled his eyes.  
"Duh!" He waved as he headed towards the ferry. "Good luck, Nico! You did a good job!"

So, on that happy note I bring you closing demi-gods. I saved many stupid people from petting Cerberus, dealt with demi-gods getting sick, and even earned money for the Lord of the Dead. I have two ending points. One, don't ever get on my dad's bad side and two, being a tour guide wasn't that bad.

Happy traveling demi-gods, and watch your step-mothers! (Uh, scratch that, Persephone's going to send me to my dad the hard way…)

-Nico di Angelo  
*Official tour guide of the Underworld

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE TOUR, AND HAVE A NICE DAY!  
(YES-YOU GET TO KEEP THIS** **PAMPHLET****, DON'T BOTHER ME ABOUT IT ALRIGHT? I HATE THESE THINGS)**

_It's finished my friends!  
Hope you enjoyed the ending, so review!  
*Writer out_


End file.
